Well Chris and I have recovered from the never ending journey from the ‘Steel City’ to the land of clots …sorry…clotted cream, with all traces of the dreaded ‘Numb Bum’ gone, to find the weather is indeed a few degrees warmer down here, and the sunshine is in plentiful supply. I didn’t realise how true it was when people said, “Ee by gum, it’ grim up North”. It seems the North South divide is all about the weather, not economics, house prices and employment opportunities. The coach trip down really did seen like a chapter from ‘The never ending journey’ with a drive time of 7 1/2 hrs…made longer by the fact that the seats were hard and the only way to ease the discomfort was to recline the seat into the face of the person seated behind….Anyway, after getting scalded and frozen, in that order, trying to get the shower regulated to a bearable temperature, Dinner proved to be a well cooked if bland piece of chicken ( or was it snake ??? which they say always tastes like chicken) served by a thirty something fella with a Kevin Keenan hair do, medallion on a hairy chest and platform shoes poking out of yellow flairs….the brightest waiter I’ve ever seen not getting the sack!!! …I asked him if there was a carnival in town and he said, ” No, sir, I came on my bike” , so I left it at that and finished off with the cheese and biscuits…( are they little teeth marks on the blue Stilton????)
After the meal, we adjourned into the concert room to be greeted by another thirty something fella who was singing Achey Breakey Heart….GOD!!! I hate Country and Western. I really thought we were in for a night of lost loves, dead dogs and train wrecks…HOWEVER !!! He was one of the best stamp comics I have seen in a long time. He wasn’t entirely politically correct but that was after astutely measuring the audience and playing to them…very skilfully done too..and, he never swore once, which is somewhat unusual nowadays. During the course of the night, in which he had us all in stitches, he spoke to every member of the audience, about a hundred oldies in all…and from that moment on he remembered all our names…a feat which mightily impressed me. Apart from the ‘ Achey Breaky Heart song..he was a very good singer too…a good night was had by all and we walked off into the sunset, up the apples and pears to Bedfordshire…..
I’ll give a brief report about today’s activities later on tonight…..must dash, I’m being stalked by a couple of elderly ladies who smell of lavender and talk about stained glass windows a lot…….they do remind me of Royston Vasey, though I can’t quite work out why..Mmmmmmm.
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…It matters not what others think…if you feel the need, HOWL at the moon !!!
Location:Abby Lawn Hotel…Torquay.